


bring me to your house and tell me sorry for the mess

by likewinning



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics), Grayson (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Barebacking, Kink Bingo 2015, M/M, the usual mix of old and new canon tbh, vague spoilers for Grayson and current plotlines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-26
Updated: 2015-06-26
Packaged: 2018-04-06 05:39:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4210005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likewinning/pseuds/likewinning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He can't do this, can't <em>reminisce</em> with Dick about someone they both loved so much it carved a hole into their hearts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	bring me to your house and tell me sorry for the mess

**Author's Note:**

> Originally started for Kink Bingo for my "barebacking/unsafe sex" square. And then this week's Grayson happened and things got a little out of control.

"Hey." Jason recognizes the voice on the end of the line, sees the caller ID, but – "Uh," he says. "Aren't you supposed to be dead?"

Dick laughs, and Jason knows it's not a trick, knows that it's him. "Aren't _you_?" he asks, and yeah, fair enough. "Don't sound so disappointed."

"I'm not," Jason says. It's weird that it's true. There were times when he wanted to throw Dick off a building, times when he _tried_ , but despite all that –

"I," Dick says. "Look, I can't explain it all over the phone, but I just found out about Bruce and I – I kinda need you, Jay."

Jason might not be fifteen anymore, might not be some punk eager to prove that he's as good as Dick, that he's better, but it still hits him right where that kid lives. "I'll meet you," Jason says. "I can be in Gotham in a few hours. Are you at the house?"

"No," Dick says. He rattles off the address of some bar. "I'll be there," Jason says. "Just hang tight."

*

Jason has enough time during the drive to Gotham to figure out how he's going to handle this. He's not going to yell, not going to punch Dick right in his perfect face. He's just going to have a beer with him and then be on his way.

But when he gets to the bar, finds Dick at a table with a beer already in front of him, Jason's whole body betrays him and in a second he's pulling Dick out of the chair, pulling him into the kind of hug that you really only reserve for someone who's supposed to be dead.

"Damn," Dick says, his breath brushing Jason's ear as he holds on just as tight. "I should die more often."

"No," Jason says. He shoves Dick back in the chair, glares down at him. "You shouldn't."

"Jase," Dick says. He opens one of the beers, hands it off to Jason. Jason turns the chair backward and sits down across from him. "I couldn't tell anyone. I couldn't…" he runs his hands through his hair, longer than the last time Jason saw him, which was over a fucking _year_ ago.

"You don't know what it was like," Dick says. "Not being able to talk to anyone, not having…"

"But Bruce knew," Jason says. He's trying to keep the anger out of his voice, trying to just be _relieved_ , and he _is_ , but –

"Yeah," Dick says.

Jason downs half his beer in one go, sets it down hard on the table. "Oh, golden boy," he says. He pats Dick's cheek, getting condensation from the beer on him. "Guess now we know you really would die for him."

"Jason…" Dick starts, but Jason says, "I didn't go to your funeral. Sorry."

"That's fine," Dick says, lips quirking. "I – I didn't go to yours, either."

"Asshole," Jason says lightly.

"I know," Dick says.

"Dick," Jason says. He stares him down across the table, cataloging every detail, the sharp cheekbones and perfect mouth, eyelashes most people would kill for, body like a fucking wetdream Jason's definitely had once or twice. "Why'd you call me over here, huh? We're not exactly best buds."

He's quiet for a minute, miracle that _that_ fucking is, but he fidgets with the label on his beer bottle, and his leg jiggles under the table. Then he looks back up at Jason and says, "Because you're the only one who _might_ actually be more busted up about this than I am."

Jason doesn't say anything, can't, or that tiny hole in his chest he's managed to keep from growing since he heard about Bruce might just open up and swallow him. He didn't believe it at first; part of him still doesn't; Bruce is fucking _Batman_ and he always comes back. It would be just like Bruce to pretend to be dead, same as he made Dick do, because only fuck-ups like Jason ever really _die_ -

"I don't," Jason says. _I'm fine_ , he starts to say, but Dick just _looks_ at him and Jason sighs and says, "If I think about it for more than ten seconds at a time I'm gonna lose my fucking mind. You know, more than usual."

Dick smiles around his beer bottle, finishes it off and sets it on the table. "I thought when I moved out," Dick says. "Did the whole solo act, left Gotham… I thought he'd stop being my world, you know?"

"Yeah," Jason breathes. He thought _dying_ might cover that for him, but hey – nope.

"I always," Dick says. He's fidgeting again, and Jason puts his hand over Dick's to make him stop. "I was _so_ jealous of you, Jason. I mean, you actually got –"

Jason bursts out laughing. It starts out loud, then turns into this helpless, silent laughter that doesn't stop until Dick kicks him under the table. "Sorry," Jason says. "Sorry, I just – are you fucking kidding me, Grayson? He _loved_ you."

"He loved you, too."

"No," Jason says. "He needed me. There's a difference."

"I'm gonna get another round," Dick says. He stands up and heads for the counter, and Jason thinks about leaving three hundred times in the two minutes that Dick's gone. He can't do this, can't _reminisce_ with Dick about someone they both loved so much it carved a hole into their hearts.

But Dick sits back down, raises his bottle and says, "To Bruce, right? Without him, we'd probably be halfway normal, but who needs _that_?"

Jason laughs and clinks his bottle against Dick's, says, "Not us, man."

*

They get sloppy drunk. It's really the only way they know how to interact with each other; Jason figured that out years ago. With the fuzz and calm of alcohol, they can actually talk without bitterness creeping up their throats to be spit out, can just _hang_.

Dick tells him a little about what he's been doing as a dead man, and Jason tells him about Roy and Kori, what a mess Roy's been since Kori left.

"I'm glad you're there to look after him," Dick says. "I should – I should call him, too, but…"

"Family," Jason says. "I get it. But just so you know, if you don't tell him you're back soon I _will_ kick you back into a casket."

Dick smirks. "You could try, little wing."

"Mm," Jason says. "I'm bigger now, man. I can _take_ you."

"You kidding?" Dick asks. "I fought _Batman_ and won." He's grinning while he says it, but then he seems to realize just _what_ he says and his expression darkens like a ghost just walked past.

"Hey," Jason says. He nods his head toward the pool table near the back of the bar. "Wanna go hustle a couple of suckers?"

"Jason," Dick says. "I'm _not_ getting arrested just so you can have a little barfight."

Jason grins down at him, stands and offers him a hand up. "That's the great thing about being legally dead, man. You're fuckin' untouchable."

*

They're not, of course. They hustle a couple of guys pretty good until the guys figure it out, and then there's an all-out brawl, broken pool cues and everything. They run out of the place laughing before either of them can sustain worse than a bruised cheek, getting three blocks down the street before Dick stops, swings around a lamppost still giggling.

"I missed Gotham," he says. His eyes are dilated, lit up from the light above him, and he's fucking stupid beautiful. "Sure, it's got its psychos and dirty cops and _vigilantes_ , but at the end of the day it's –"

"Home," Jason says. "Yeah, I know. Speaking of which, we should take you there. You staying in the manor?"

"No," Dick says, shaking his head. "Alfred offered, but – I couldn't yet. Too many memories, you know?"

"Yeah," Jason says. Dick flips onto his hands and starts walking down the pavement on them. Despite the drinks, he's perfectly steady. Jason watches him for a while before he says, "Come on. I've got a safehouse not too far from here."

*

It actually _is_ a bit of a walk, but Jason figures Dick can use it with how much he drank, and by the time Jason lets him in, Dick's half-asleep leaning on his shoulder, mumbling some nonsense Jason can't even decipher.

"Cot's all yours," Jason says, leading Dick toward it. "'Night, Dickie."

Dick sits down on the bed and starts pulling his boots off, but then he looks up at Jason. "Where are _you_ gonna sleep?"

Jason shrugs. "The floor's fine," he says. "Badass League of Assassins-trained, remember?"

Dick snorts, tosses his shoes and socks down, and he looks like he's just going to crash without another word, but then he grabs Jason by the front of his t-shirt and pulls him down _hard_ to the cot.

"Jesus," Jason says, trying to get back up but Dick's got him pinned down. "What the _fuck_ -"

"Jay," Dick says. "Jase. Just stay here, okay? I promise not to hog the covers, just, please?"

Jason sighs. He's never seen Dick this needy, this _hurt_ , this much of a goddamn mess, and it's making his head spin – he's supposed to be the mess around here; he _earned_ that title. He's not made for –

"Yeah," he says. "Okay."

Dick rolls back off of him, satisfied. Jason gets up to grab another pillow from somewhere and when he gets back a minute later, Dick's already asleep and drooling on his pillow.

*

Jason wakes up in the morning with someone's arm wrapped around him, someone's chin digging into his shoulder. He thinks it's Roy at first, and then he panics when he remembers what city he's in, what he's _doing_ here.

"Calm down," Dick says. "I can feel your heartbeat from here, man."

"Maybe I'm just freaking out because your breath is so terrible," Jason says.

"Oh," Dick says. " _Now_ you're in trouble, kid." He moves, pins Jason to the bed and _breathes_ down on him, giggles as he rubs their noses together.

"You," Jason says, trying not to smile but it's fucking _impossible_ with Dick sometimes, fucking ray of infectious sunshine that he is, "are a fucking freak."

"Mm," Dick agrees. He nuzzles Jason's neck, blows a raspberry into it.

"Still drunk?" Jason asks.

"Little bit," Dick says. "I think those beers might have had alcohol in them."

"That's possible," Jason agrees. He runs his fingers through Dick's hair, and Dick's eyes flutter closed for a couple of seconds. He can feel Dick half-hard against his leg, and he's thinking about that when Dick leans down and kisses him.

Dick's a good kisser. He remembers that from Roy, from Kori, from Barb - remembers wondering why he never just went for it, back when he was some brave dumb kid instead of whatever he is _now_. Dick's mouth is warm and soft against his, and when Jason nudges his lips open with his tongue, he tastes like all the beers they drank, the shots they each had just before they started fucking around at the pool table. Dick drags his teeth over Jason's bottom lip, and Jason holds Dick's face in his hands, pulls him back a little and says, "Hey. What are you doing?"

Dick looks down at him like he's _stupid_ or something and says, "Kissing you. You've spent enough time with Harper by now that you should probably know a little something about that."

"Yeah," Jason says. "But no. Dick, we - "

"What was it like," Dick says. He's touching the scars on Jason's abs, the knife wound from some psycho in Tampa who made the League of Assassins look like casual fans of swords. "You and - Bruce, I mean."

"When we fucked?" Jason asks, and Dick flinches, but then he says, "Well. Yeah."

"I don't know," Jason says. Dick settles onto his chest, hair tickling his skin. "It was - messy, mostly. Pretty fucked up, but -" _perfect_.

"Yeah," Dick says, like he hears that last word anyway. "It almost happened, you know, before I - when I was dead."

"Well, I'm glad it didn't happen _after_ ," Jason teases.

"Shut up," Dick says. He pinches Jason's nipple. "All I wanted to do was come home, and he wouldn't let me. And you -"

"What _about_ me?" Jason asks.

Dick turns, looks up at him. "How many times did he ask you to come back?"

_A thousand._ "A few times," Jason says. "But it's not that simple, Dick. It never was. He wanted me to toe his line, and I can't do that anymore."

"Not if it meant having him back?" Dick asks, and that's the question, isn't it? Jason's not sure anymore that there's anything he wouldn't do, any line he wouldn't cross if Bruce could come back, be that same manipulative, selfless, infuriating bastard again.

"Weren't you kissing me?" Jason asks, and Dick's not so buzzed still to just accept a distraction, but then maybe he needs one as much as Jason does, because his face breaks into a grin that doesn't quite reach his eyes and he says, "Yeah, I think I was."

It's different this time, fiercer, not just playing around. Dick fucks his tongue into Jason's mouth, grinds down against him, and Jason rolls them over, gets his hand under Dick's briefs and shoves them down.

"Jay," Dick says. "Jay, are you -"

Jason kisses down Dick's chest, those perfect abs covered in scars and bruises, then sucks the head of Dick's cock into his mouth like he hasn't waited fucking _years_ for this. " _Oh_ ," Dick says, and he bucks up into Jason's mouth until Jason holds him down, swallows him the rest of the way. Dick's not loud but he doesn't shut _up_ , makes the prettiest sounds every time Jason swirls his tongue around him, hollows his cheeks and works his jaw. He grabs Dick's ass with both hands and squeezes, and Dick _moans_ like it's the best thing he's ever felt.

Then Jason takes one hand off Dick to grind his palm against his cock through his boxers, looks up at Dick through his lashes and Dick's just _staring_ at him, mouth open and so beautiful it fucking hurts Jason to look at him.

"Jason," Dick says. He touches Jason's face, pushes the hair back from his forehead. "Jason, tell me what you want."

_This_ Jason means to say, but Dick nudges him back, and Jason releases him with a wet pop, licking the taste of Dick from his lips. "Fuck me," Jason says, and Dick takes a sharp breath but then he nods and says, "Yeah. Okay. I don't - do you have -"

"Jeans pocket," Jason says, and Dick reaches over the side of the cot to find Jason's jeans from last night, takes out a small container of lube. "Really, Jay?" he teases.

"Shut up," Jason says. "I spend half my fuckin' time with _Harper_ , like I'm not gonna be prepared?"

He takes the lube from Dick, and Dick looks like he's about to say something, but then Jason slicks up his fingers and starts prepping himself and Dick just _stares_ instead.

"Jesus christ, Jason," Dick says.

"When Bruce and I," Jason says. "Sometimes I'd get myself ready ages ahead of time, in case we were somewhere and he just wanted to fuck the _life_ out of me."

"God," Dick says. "That's - that shouldn't be so hot, but…"

"Yeah," Jason says. He takes his fingers out, squeezes out more lube and gets his hand around Dick.

"Condom?" Dick breathes out, and Jason shakes his head, looks him right in the eye and says, "You got any idea how long I've been thinking about this one, Grayson? I wanna feel all of you. Want you to fill me _up_."

"Oh my god," Dick says. "How do you want -" he asks, starting to sit up, but Jason pushes him back down to the bed, climbs into his lap. "Like this," he says. "Just like this." He takes Dick's cock and lowers himself onto it, and Dick says about twenty different curse words until he's completely inside of Jason.

"God, Dickie," Jason says, and Dick reaches up for him, swipes his thumb across Jason's lip and says, "Move for me, little wing."

And it's not an order or a plea like it would be for Bruce, not a simple _come on_ like with Roy, it's just - it's the two of them moving in sync, like maybe they were always supposed to do this, like it would have _helped._ Dick grips Jason's hips and Jason uses Dick's shoulders to push himself up again and again, years worth of _want_ in one motion.

"Wanted to do this for so long," Jason babbles. "Just wanted to drop to the floor and let you _use_ me."

" _Jay_ ," Dick whines, but Jason doesn't shut up, says, "He knew, too. Knew how much I fucking wanted you. How much we _both_ did. God, Dick, you're so -"

Jason's back hits the cot when Dick moves them, pulls Jason's legs over his shoulders and all but folds him in _half_ as he fucks into him. "I would've let you," Dick says. "Shouldn't have, but I would've - god, Jay, I miss -"

"I know," Jason says. "Me too."

Dick _moans_ and fucks him faster, grabs Jason by the hair and pulls him up to kiss him, suck on his tongue, scrape his teeth against Jason's lips. "I wanna go home, Jase," he says. "I want - oh, _fuck_ -" he says, and he moves them again, sits up and drags Jason into his lap and Jason can't think anymore, can't do anything but bury his head in Dick's neck as he thrusts into him.

"Missed you," Dick says, and Jason tries not to hear it, reminds himself that Dick's still a little drunk and when he sobers up he'll hate Jason again, remember that he's some punk kid who tried to kill him, but -

"Yeah," Jason says. "I -"

"I know," Dick says. He wraps his fingers around Jason's dick, fucking _calluses_ and perfect hands and says, "Come for me, little wing. Need to feel you."

And Jason does, grinds down on Dick a couple more times and then loses it, comes all over both of them so hard he leaves his teethmarks in Dick's shoulder and his fingerprints in Dick's arms. Then he reaches back, slips two fingers into Dick's hole and Dick _whines_ and comes, hips still stuttering up into Jason as he spills inside of him.

They stay like that for a while, just catching their breath, and then the wave of where they are and what they're doing seems to hit them both at the same time, like some vapor that slipped into the room.

Jason eases himself off of Dick, sticky and dripping with come, and Dick's just _looking_ at him, mouth open and eyes wide and a crinkle in his forehead that reminds Jason of Bruce.

But then, what fucking _doesn't?_

"I should," Jason starts. "If you want the shower first, you can - I mean, unless you just want -"

"Shut up," Dick says. He kisses Jason's cheek, his eyelids, pushes Jason back down on the cot and licks the come from his thighs. Jason shivers at the feeling, can't help but lean into it. "I know," he says, looking up at Jason. "But just - not yet, okay?"

He's half-hard again by the time Dick licks his way up to his cock, and even though Jason can see the sun through the blinds, it's starting to rain. He falls asleep on the opposite end of the bed, Dick's hair tickling his chin, and when he wakes up again Dick's gone, but that hole in his chest feels a little bit smaller.


End file.
